Babysitting Guidance

When Children Look After Children

Babysitting Guidance While children who choose to work on newspaper delivery rounds, on farms or in retail jobs are covered and hopefully protected by general and specific health and safety law - notably the Health and Safety (Young Persons) Regulations 1997, those who choose babysitting as a means of earning money fall outside these laws.

In the absence of legislation, both RoSPA and the NSPCC recommend that no one under 16 should be left to care for an infant. The British Red Cross, stipulate that participants must have reached their 14th birthday by the time of their final assessment.

Under some circumstances, parents, can be prosecuted and fined if they leave their children in a situation which a court might judge to be ‘neglectful’. This usually occurs when there is an ‘incident’ which requires intervention by the Emergency Services.

Thankfully, most babysitting situations do end happily and when you consider the number of parents who engage babysitters and the number of babysitters who look after children, the disasters are few. But leaving children in the hands of other children increases the risk of harm being realised. Below are a few examples from our babysitting files. All cases involve youngsters of 13 or younger.

A lot of young people we spoke to, who were expected to look after younger brothers and sisters, felt trapped by their enforced child-minding duties and, in many cases, it had created a great deal of family tension. Some youngsters felt that they were being "blackmailed" into babysitting. A lot of the children felt "used".

The most successful sitters had taken courses in child development and first aid. Those who had better babysitting experiences usually sat for other people, for an agreed sum of money, and had support systems in place. For example: their own parent or other relative would be available to step in and help in a crisis.

Being a babysitter means that you have someone else’s life in your hands and that in itself is a tremendous responsibility. Having to look after one or more children can be tiring, frustrating and sometimes difficult to cope with - even for experienced adults.

Parents need to think about all possible eventualities (do a risk assessment) before leaving their children in the hands of someone else, particularly someone under sixteen. Likewise, any prospective babysitter should be well-prepared by being armed with enough information and know-how to be able to cope with most situations that could arise during the babysitting session. Through mutual co-operation and understanding, babysitters and parents can reduce the risks of potential harm and promote a safer environment for the child as well as for the babysitters themselves.

Worst case scenarios

1. In December 1998, a twelve year old babysitter was arrested after a toddler left in her care was found dead in her cot with brain injuries and a fractured skull. The baby girl, 16 month old Molly Adams, died in hospital three days after her mother had left her alone with the girl while she went out for a drink with a friend.

Police were called when a post mortem revealed massive injuries and treated the death as ‘suspicious’. Officers arrested and questioned the babysitter who was later released on bail.

The toddler and her mother had only moved into the house two months earlier and for a few weeks, the twelve year old had been babysitting at weekends. She had already minded the baby several times and there had never been any problems, but something went wrong on this Friday evening.

2. A girl babysat between five and seven nights every week for her parents. If she refused, life was made fairly unbearable for her things were "denied" her, like money, sweets, clothes, even affection! Her school work had suffered, she had little or no social life - she always babysat alone - and was pale and timid. During the course of one evening’s babysitting, she needed to go to the bathroom. Not wanting to leave her little brother alone downstairs she took him upstairs into the bathroom with her where she could still keep an eye on him. Unfortunately, he "escaped" and tumbled down the stairs. Not wishing to take any chances, she rang for the family doctor. She then comforted her brother and checked him for any obvious injuries she might be able to deal with while she waited. When her parents returned, her mother shouted at her for being "careless" and "stupid", but the Doctor praised her for her quick thinking and sensible actions’. Her little brother was not badly injured just a few bumps and bruises - but the knocks to her self-esteem were irreparable.

A boy told us of the awful time he had looking after his younger brother who through resentment and frustration accidentally stabbed him! In the absence of their parents, the younger boy had become "more unruly than usual" and was "playing up". The elder lad, quiet and mature, tried to exercise some ‘parental control’ and authority over his younger sibling. The younger brother took offence, screeching "You’re not my dad!" He then ran into the kitchen, picked up a sharp knife and playfully waved it about, not intending to cause harm: but when the elder brother tried to take the knife away from his brother, the younger lad accidentally stabbed him.

3. A lively, intelligent and confident girl, was frequently left in charge of all seven of the family’s children, every one of them under five years old. She did the ‘sitting’ in her brother’s flat and the children all gathered there. Two of the youngest children, still babies, were poorly. On this particular evening, one baby became increasingly distressed and was turning blue - a sign which she recognised as serious. She thought the baby might have something stuck in its throat - or that it had stopped breathing. This was an emergency situation and there was no telephone - plus there were six other children to think of. She knew she had to get immediate help preferably from someone with first aid experience. She remembered that a man in one of the other flats in the block worked for the St John Ambulance. She would have to fetch him but in order to do this she would have to leave the other six children alone. There was no choice. Fortunately, the first aid man was at home. He immediately took control of the child and managed to stabilise the baby’s breathing. The relieved girl told us that, "had the man from St John not been there the baby would have died, I should think."

Good Practice for Parents

Hiring a young babysitter

If you decide to hire a young babysitter under the age of sixteen, you must be prepared to take some responsibility for anything that should go wrong in your absence. Under some circumstances, the police will charge parents with negligence. You must also be prepared to take responsibility for the care and safety of your babysitter - including making arrangements in advance for the sitter’s safe return home if they are not being collected by a parent or sleeping over, Never let a young babysitter travel home alone late at night.
Remember that the majority of babysitters mean well and genuinely like children. However, these qualities might not be enough if difficulties should occur. You need to know that your babysitter is a competent person.
Define the qualities you are looking for in a good babysitter: for example; responsible, mature, reliable, honest, capable, tolerant, patient, kind but firm, has experience with young children, has first aid experience etc.
Make sure the babysitter knows how and when to call the emergency services if it should become necessary.
Encourage your babysitter to visit your home and get to know the child or children who will be left in their care. It will also help them understand the particular household and the children’s day-time and night-time routines.
Give an honest opinion when the question arises concerning your babysitter having friends to sit with them (same sex or opposite sex). Use common sense and remember that babysitting can be a lonely business.
Make adequate preparations for your babysitter not only in terms of refreshments but also in giving them enough information to cover all eventualities. Make sure your sitter knows where everything is.
Never take advantage of a babysitter by leaving them to cope with an already sick or upset child who you know will not settle.
Never leave a babysitter alone with several children for long periods of time.
Always return home as close to the time you agreed with your babysitter as you can. If you are going to be late, inform the babysitter, if possible.
Talk to your babysitter about the child’s progress and give them up-to-date information, especially important if the sitter does not see your child regularly.
If you feel unhappy about any aspect of the care of your child, talk it over with the babysitters

Using your eldest child as a babysitter

As with parents hiring a sitter under sixteen years of age, you must also be prepared to take some responsibility for anything that should go wrong in your absence. You are also responsible for the care and safety of your eldest child who is acting in loco parentis.
Try not to take advantage of your eldest child by expecting them to babysit on too frequent a basis - and certainly not seven days a week. This can lead to resentment and family tension. However, if circumstances dictate that there is no alternative, then talk things through with your eldest. Understanding why things are as they are can be helpful.
Ask yourself whether your eldest child has the maturity and qualities you would look for if hiring a babysitter from somewhere else. Are they capable of looking after the rest of the children in your absence?
Give praise where it is due and reward your eldest child for a job well done: This can be anything from pocket-money, to a small gift such as a favourite magazine, or just sincere thanks.
In the unlikely event that something does go wrong in your absence, try not to allocate blame. It is not easy being expected to have authority and control over younger family members who have probably already reminded them that they are not you and, therefore, have no authority.
Help your eldest child do a risk assessment of your home. Point out potential hazards and risks and explain how to control them.

Good Practice for Babysitters

Sitting for younger siblings

Do try and be open with your parent/s about how you feel about babysitting your younger brothers and sisters. If you have any worries or concerns, try to bring them out in the open. Try to talk about it calmly.
Negotiate. No one can be expected to babysit every night. Agree to sit a few evenings if you, in turn, can have some nights off to do your own thing.
If you do have to stay in with younger siblings for a whole week, ask if you can have a friend to come and sit with you so that you can share the responsibility of looking after the children.
Try not to resent or blame your younger brothers and sisters for the situation, it is not their fault. Try to look at the situation from all points of view including that of your parent/s.
Treat your responsibilities as seriously as you would were you sitting for someone else’s children.
Set up a back-up system. Is there another relative or other adult you can ask for help in an emergency? Would a neighbour help?
Make sure you know where your parent/s will be and roughly what time they will be back. Give them a little leeway as it can be difficult to return ‘on the dot’. Get a contact telephone number, if you can.
In the unlikely event that something major occurs - illness or accident - would you know what to do? Do you know how to get hold of the family doctor and the Emergency Services? If not, ask a parent to help you find out.
A knowledge of home safety would be helpful to you. Get to know the hazards and risks in and around your home. Identify the hazards which have potential to cause harm to you and the other children. What are the risks? Do you know how to manage and control those risks?
If no-one thanks you or praises you for looking after your younger siblings, then give yourself a pat on the back for doing a good job.

Sitting for other people

Are you aged sixteen years and over and able to accept the responsibilities of looking after one or more children?
Parents are seeking good child care in their absence. You must remember at all times that there is a child in the house in your care. Can you offer such a service?
Why do you want to babysit? Is it for the loves of children or to earn some extra money? Hopefully, it is a combination of both. If it is simply to get away from your own house so that you can do what you like in someone else’s, think again.
Take some basic training in the safe care of young children. Remember that young children are not only prone to illness but also to having mishaps and accidents. It is essential that you can cope with such emergencies. If you can study child development and first aid at school, do so; otherwise, take a first aid course offered by the St John Ambulance or Red -Cross.
A good working knowledge and understanding of safety in the home environment is important so that you can recognise good and bad safety practices. You should be able to identify hazards and risks.
You ideally need some experience of dealing with and looking after small children and should spend some time with a family where there are small children present. Getting to know the child you will be caring for before you babysit is a good idea.
Organise a suitable back-up system - such as having a near relative or neighbour available whom you can call upon in an emergency or simply to ask advice about an uncertain situation.
If you agree to babysit, always be prompt and arrive in good time.
Try not to let the child’s parents leave the home before learning where to contact them. Ask for other numbers, too - e.g.; family doctor, other relatives etc. You must feel safe, secure and happy to be left alone with the child or children before the parents depart for the evening.
Know, in advance, exactly how you will be getting home after the sitting session. You might also like to negotiate terms of payment and whether or not you are allowed to have a friend sit with you. Make sure you know what you can and cannot do in someone else’s home.

By following these basic and simple guidelines, the babysitter will be rewarded by a feeling of confidence and develop a better relationship with the children in their care while parents will be rewarded by the knowledge that their child is secure and happy in the hands of a well-prepared and trusted babysitter.

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